¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*¿ì
2022-02-18 1094

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it is dynamite because the inventor of it has regretted the invention, and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but dig grounds." Contrary to his words, however, many people died because of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kane:)

Wow! I didn't know that! Thanks for sharing that knowledge. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think it is dynamite because the inventor of it has regretted the invention, and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but dig grounds." 
>> I think the greatest invention is dynamite because the inventor regretted making it and he said, "I didn't make dynamite to kill people but to dig grounds." 

Contrary to his words, however, many people died because of it.
>>Contrary to his words, many people died because of it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117351 Homework °í*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 317
117350 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 148
117349 What\'s your favorite art form? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 314
117348 2022.3.14 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 199
117347 Homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 3
117346 Are there any iconic locations, such as the Taj Mahal or the... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 518
117345 How can political campaigns be better organized? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 794
117344 Third homework À±*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 733
117343 Describe how it feels to be an English learner. What... ÇÑ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 402
117342 Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-15 614
117341 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 1
117340 Do you think voting for the lesser evil is better than not... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 388
117339 Alien ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 549
117338 3/14 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 630
117337 Sad Dependence on Oblivion ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 610
117336 About Gayageum ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 2
117335 Do young people use their cell phones too much? Do you think... Àü*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 720
117334 Do you agree that changes in the business and economic sector... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 212
117333 Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 686
117332 Exciting experience ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 741

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04