¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think marriage is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-18 696

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, marriage is important.
If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
And also there is another function of marriage.
We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's true. It's a personal choice so we should respect everyone's opinion. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, marriage is important.
>> CORRECT

If people don't marry, we can't continue our humans' history.
>>If people don't marry, we can't continue our history.

So I think marriage is important for the humans' history, and for the people who will live after us.
>> So I think marriage is important for the next generations. 

And also there is another function of marriage.
>> There are also other functions for marriage. 

We can earn money together if we marry, so we can be more comfortable about money.
>> We can earn money together if we marry, so we can live more comfortably. 

And also I think of course we can marry with our loving ones.
>> Also, I think we can get married for our loved ones. 

Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge my opinion.
>> Even though I don't think that marriage is not important, I can't urge other people to feel think the same way.

But I think marriage is important in my life, and also I think it is a good thing.
>> At some point, I think marriage is important and good in my life. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116099 2/4 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-05 689
116098 What are the things you need these days? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-05 409
116097 What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-05 647
116096 Homework (Fri, Feb 4th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-05 376
116095 Korea launhes mobile driver\\\'s license trial À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 2
116094 That\'s useless think ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 422
116093 What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 267
116092 I\'m positive for my future ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 195
116091 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1001
116090 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 407
116089 Homework (Feb 3th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1155
116088 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1
116087 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 431
116086 How would you describe the difference between a vice and an... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 329
116085 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1137
116084 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 916
116083 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 453
116082 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 1485
116081 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 580
116080 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 611

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04