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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Would you be willing to pay for internet services if they weren’t supported by ads? Why or why not?

작성자: 김*경
2022-02-18 362

회원님의 영작문

If an internet service provider doesn't have any advertisement revenue, they can't manage to run their business. In this respect, ads benefit both providers and users. It's a win-win business. If service providers weren't supported by ads, their service quality would go bad. And it will in turn lead to fewer users of the services, which would get even worse and worse. Finally, the Internet service market should be caught in a vicious circle. It's the last thing both users and providers want. To break out of a vicious circle, advertisement revenue is essential for the internet service market.

Nevertheless, if you ask me if I would pay for internet service, I would be willing to pay on the condition that their charge is reasonable. It's because I think internet service is so indispensable for modern times that we users should keep it somehow. I believe that it'll work to our advantage in the long run. We have to be wise consumers in a tricky situation like this.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hello, Steve! Thank you for an impressive work. Keep it up! Happy weekend!

- Teacher Debbie

If an internet service provider doesn't have any advertisement revenue, they can't manage to run their business.
>> This is a good sentence.

In this respect, ads benefit both providers and users.
>> In this respect, advertisements benefit both providers and users.

 It's a win-win business.
>> It's a win-win situation.

If service providers weren't supported by ads, their service quality would go bad.
>> This is a good sentence.

And it will in turn lead to fewer users of the services, which would get even worse and worse.
>> It would lead to fewer users, which could get even worse and worse.

Finally, the Internet service market should be caught in a vicious circle.
>> Finally, the Internet service market would be caught in a vicious circle.

It's the last thing both users and providers want.
>> It's the last thing both users and providers want.

To break out of a vicious circle, advertisement revenue is essential for the internet service market.
>> Therefore, advertisement revenue is essential for the internet service market.

Nevertheless, if you ask me if I would pay for internet service, I would be willing to pay on the condition that their charge is reasonable.
>>Therefore, if you asked me to for an internet service, I would be willing to do so on the condition that their charge is reasonable.

 It's because I think internet service is so indispensable for modern times that we users should keep it somehow.
>>  It's because I think an internet service is so indispensable for modern times that we should keep it somehow.

 I believe that it'll work to our advantage in the long run.
>> This is a good sentence.

We have to be wise consumers in a tricky situation like this.
>> This is a good sentence.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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