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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What springs to your mind when you hear the word ice cream?

작성자: 황*하
2022-02-16 574

회원님의 영작문

It was one of my favorite snacks when I was teenager. I am not sure if the weather was hotter than now. I guess young people easily feel hot, that's why I love eating ice cream. It was not common to eat it in winter but many people enjoy eating it regardless of seasons. The Baskin Rabison is the first thing that comes in my mind because it is the most famous shop and everybody love. However, I like traditional ice cream due to my preference. Ice cream in big chain looks beautiful and delicious but I am not sure if it contains more healthier ingredients. In addition, the price is much expensive than products at supermarket. I would select other snacks if I have a chance to eat ice cream in BR. It is like wast of money for me. However, I might look for ice cream if it becomes hot.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Hwang!^^ 

How I wish I can actually make ice cream. I never tried eating home-made ice cream. 
My favorite flavor is vanilla, it's plain and simple. 
I always hear about Baskin Robbins ice cream. Unfortunately, we don't have it in our city. 
If I will go to Manila, I would definitely try this ice cram shop.  

Teacher Andrea 

It was one of my favorite snacks when I was teenager. 
>> Correct

I am not sure if the weather was hotter than now. 
>> I am not sure if the weather is hotter now than before. 

I guess young people easily feel hot, that's why I love eating ice cream. 
>> Correct 

It was not common to eat it in winter but many people enjoy eating it regardless of seasons. 
>> It was not common to eat it in winter but many people enjoy eating it regardless of the season.  

The Baskin Rabison is the first thing that comes in my mind because it is the most famous shop and everybody love. 
>> Baskin Robbins is the first thing that comes to my mind because it is the most famous shop and everybody love it. 

However, I like traditional ice cream due to my preference. 
>> However, I personally prefer traditional ice creams. 

Ice cream in big chain looks beautiful and delicious but I am not sure if it contains more healthier ingredients. 
>> Ice cream in big chain looks beautiful and delicious but I am not sure if it contains healthier ingredients than home mad ones.  

In addition, the price is much expensive than products at supermarket. 
>> In addition, the price is more expensive than products at the supermarket. 

I would select other snacks if I have a chance to eat ice cream in BR. 
>> Correct 

It is like wast of money for me. 
>> It feels like a waste of money. 

However, I might look for ice cream if it becomes hot.
>> However, I might crave for ice cream if it becomes hot.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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