¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-14 385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, I will not change my thoughts about justice.
I saw a lot of people who did bad things only because of money.
Of course we can earn money, but we should act inside of justice.
But some people get out of justice and do something that they shouldn't do.
And I don't wanna be one of them.
So for me, the one thing that I won't change about myself is the thoughts about justice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's a good thing that even if you're still young, you know your stand in terms of justice. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, I will not change my thoughts about justice.
>> CORRECT

I saw a lot of people who did bad things only because of money.
>> CORRECT

Of course we can earn money, but we should act inside of justice.
>> Of course we can earn money, but we should act in the side of justice.

But some people get out of justice and do something that they shouldn't do.
>> But some people refuse to do so and they still do things that are illegal. 

And I don't wanna be one of them.
>> CORRECT

So for me, the one thing that I won't change about myself is the thoughts about justice.
>> So for me, the one thing that I won't change about myself  are my thoughts about justice.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116356 Eating out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-13 2
116355 What is your favorite weekend activity? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 351
116354 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 228
116353 Writing Task (Feb 11th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 401
116352 homework.3 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 306
116351 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 248
116350 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 438
116349 What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-12 979
116348 If you could magically gain the ability to do any sport well,... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 733
116347 ESSAY QUESTION: What¡¯s your biggest goal in life? How are goals... ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 578
116346 What is your favorite sport and why? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 489
116345 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 590
116344 2/11 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 321
116343 challenges ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116342 The Worst News ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 670
116341 homework(2) Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 502
116340 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 566
116339 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 515
116338 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 418
116337 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 376

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04