¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Voice, music

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-14 391

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My voice:) I love my voice.
Sing is my life and music is root of my heart.
If my voice change other voice, maybe I don't want to keep living.
Music is my everything and I relized I really really love music, singing and my voice

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Wow, that was very poetic. You indeed have a very beautiful voice based on all the videos that I have watched. Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

My voice:) I love my voice.
> The thing that I love the most is my voice. 

Sing is my life and music is root of my heart.
>> Singing is my life and music is the root of my heart. 

If my voice change other voice, maybe I don't want to keep living.
>> If my voice change to another voice, maybe I don't want to keep living.

Music is my everything and I relized I really really love music, singing and my voice
>>Music is my everything and I realized that I really love music and singing. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116920 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 0
116919 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 546
116918 Announcement ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 775
116917 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116916 What are some things you do to maintain your car? What are good... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116915 What are some countries that you would never visit with your... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 2
116914 What do you think of people who dispose of their pets because... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 872
116913 South Korea is about to approve vaccinating children ages 5-11.... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 709
116912 Most South Koreans Support Nuclear Weapons Development À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116911 Discount ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 1
116910 2022.2.25 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 961
116909 202z.2.28 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 691
116908 Writing Task(Feb 27th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 794
116907 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 634
116906 Writing Task (Feb 28th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-01 352
116905 What makes me happy. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 835
116904 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1
116903 2/28 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 693
116902 South Korea is about to approve vaccinating children ages 5-11.... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1638
116901 Do you think people can move objects without touching them... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 504

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04