¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Terrible olympic:(

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-10 348

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
But China judge eliminated Korean players.
For Chiness player.
So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
Every Korean get angry and me too.
It's terrible Olympic game.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That's terrible. The votes are completely biased.  :( 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
>> Two days ago, I watched the Olympic skating competition. 

Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
>> Every Korean was shocked when they saw the results. 

Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
>> The Korean players should've passed the finals. 

But China judge eliminated Korean players.
>> But the Chinese judge eliminated the Korean players for the Chinese players. 

For Chiness player.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
>> So, the Chinese players can go to the finals. 

Every Korean get angry and me too.
>> Every Korean is angry because of this. 

It's terrible Olympic game.
>> It's a terrible Olympic game. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116180 Appointment ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 2
116179 write about your earthquake preparation, and the reasons for it. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 2
116178 homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 589
116177 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 10
116176 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 561
116175 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116174 Do you think there will be more or less crime in the future?... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 147
116173 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 397
116172 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 4
116171 What is the best lesson you have learned from one of your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 331
116170 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 406
116169 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 128
116168 Abroad ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 4
116167 Which do you think is better to rent or to buy a property? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 3
116166 Do you become impatient when you have to wait in a long line? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 411
116165 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 523
116164 Writing Essay ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1214
116163 Why kids should follow the school rules. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 398
116162 If robots really did take over all (or most) jobs, what do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 805
116161 online ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 662

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04