¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Terrible olympic:(

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-10 346

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
But China judge eliminated Korean players.
For Chiness player.
So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
Every Korean get angry and me too.
It's terrible Olympic game.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That's terrible. The votes are completely biased.  :( 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
>> Two days ago, I watched the Olympic skating competition. 

Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
>> Every Korean was shocked when they saw the results. 

Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
>> The Korean players should've passed the finals. 

But China judge eliminated Korean players.
>> But the Chinese judge eliminated the Korean players for the Chinese players. 

For Chiness player.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
>> So, the Chinese players can go to the finals. 

Every Korean get angry and me too.
>> Every Korean is angry because of this. 

It's terrible Olympic game.
>> It's a terrible Olympic game. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116239 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1407
116238 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 320
116237 Is it important to have ambitions? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 0
116236 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 425
116235 Hi Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 524
116234 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 396
116233 2/9 homework! ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3
116232 Why is it important to learn history at school? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116231 2/9 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 818
116230 Does your hobby interfere with your work/study/personal life?... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 129
116229 Hi~~teacher ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 301
116228 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3
116227 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 426
116226 Do you think change is important? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 139
116225 Do you become impatient when you have to wait in a long line? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 559
116224 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 348
116223 The busiest day. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 2
116222 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 378
116221 What is your greatest achievement as a student and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 126
116220 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04