무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Benefits of using computer or laptop

작성자: 김*환
2022-02-10 932

회원님의 영작문

Many parents worry about their children's computer use time, because a lot of childern use computer or laptop to play online games. But, using computer surely will be helpful for them.

First, we can find useful imformations. Nowadays, students get much tasks from school and academies. So they need lots of imformation in internet necessarialy.

Second, students need rests. Most students suffer from stress. Even they are busier then adults. Ofcource, children can be adicted by computer games. However, computer games are undoubtly great a stress reliver.

Third, the time is chainging. Many experts say, it is the 4th industrial revolution era. therefore, the technologes are related with computer will attract future. So the next generation has to prepare for their future.

Therefore, we need to have open mind to using computer, rather, we need to have an attitude of learn it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Paul,
Computer and Laptop improve your academic performance and interest. With computer skills you adapt to a modern approach of learning, you gain knowledge as well as learn new skills so that you can take up challenges. Computer and laptop help you to engage better with your schoolwork. It's believed that computers completely enhance your mathematical knowledge, critical thinking, and improve scores, besides helping you with problem-solving. ~ Teacher Quenny..:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many parents worry about their children's computer use time, because a lot of childern use computer or laptop to play online games. 
>> Many parents worry about their children's time of computer use because a lot of children use computers or laptops to play online games. 
But, using computer surely will be helpful for them.
>> But, using a computer will surely be helpful for them and for their school works. 
First, we can find useful imformations.
>> First, we can find various and useful information.
 Nowadays, students get much tasks from school and academies. 
>>  Nowadays, students get many tasks and homework from school and academies. 
So they need lots of imformation in internet necessarialy.
>> So they need to search for lots of information on the internet necessarily.
Second, students need rests. Most students suffer from stress.
>>Second, students need rest. Most students suffer from stress in our country. 
 Even they are busier then adults. 
>>  Even they are busier than adults. 
Ofcource, children can be adicted by computer games. 
>> Of course, children can be addicted to computer games. 
However, computer games are undoubtly great a stress reliver.
>> However, computer games are undoubtedly a great stress reliever.
Third, the time is chainging. Many experts say, it is the 4th industrial revolution era. therefore, the technologes are related with computer will attract future. 
>> Third, the time is changing. Many experts say it is the 4th industrial revolution era. therefore, the technologies that are related to computers will attract the future. 
So the next generation has to prepare for their future.
>> So the next generation has to prepare for their future.(Correct)
Therefore, we need to have open mind to using computer, rather, we need to have an attitude of learn it.
>> Therefore, we need to have an open mind in using computers, rather, we need to have a good attitude of learning it.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many parents worry about their children's computer use time, because a lot of childern use computer or laptop to play online games. But, using computer surely will be helpful for them.

First, we can find useful imformations. Nowadays, students get much tasks from school and academies. So they need lots of imformation in internet necessarialy.

Second, students need rests. Most students suffer from stress. Even they are busier then adults. Ofcource, children can be adicted by computer games. However, computer games are undoubtly great a stress reliver.

Third, the time is chainging. Many experts say, it is the 4th industrial revolution era. therefore, the technologes are related with computer will attract future. So the next generation has to prepare for their future.

Therefore, we need to have open mind to using computer, rather, we need to have an attitude of learn it.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
116256 Wht I like my city 김*성 완료 2022-02-10 1062
116255 2 in 3 young people positive about plant-based meat consumption 유*진 완료 2022-02-10 1
116254 homework 정*경 완료 2022-02-10 334
116253 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-02-10 2
116252 Homework 이*빈 완료 2022-02-10 513
116251 Kids should play chess with their friends 김*우 완료 2022-02-10 345
116250 Benefits of using computer or laptop 김*환 완료 2022-02-10 932
116249 resilient 권*희 완료 2022-02-10 330
116248 When a stranger greets you, do you greet him/her back? Why? 김*규 완료 2022-02-10 9
116247 What is more important for you nowadays, to be healthy or to be... 송*진 완료 2022-02-10 1
116246 What daytime activity do you think you enjoy? Answer in a few... 송*진 완료 2022-02-10 1
116245 Homework 정*경 완료 2022-02-10 2
116244 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... 박*주 완료 2022-02-10 300
116243 my work 이*경 완료 2022-02-10 1
116242 2022.2.9 전* 완료 2022-02-10 605
116241 Do you always do what other people tell you? 엄*주 완료 2022-02-10 672
116240 homewo 김* 완료 2022-02-10 550
116239 homework 박*윤 완료 2022-02-10 1399
116238 Homework 박*윤 완료 2022-02-10 313
116237 Is it important to have ambitions? 권*윤 완료 2022-02-10 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]