¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2022-02-10 342

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and why?

If I can move to another country, I would like to go to Australia or New Zealand.
I don't have a special reason to live there, I just think Australia is a natural place.
It has good air and beautiful natural scenery.
If I live there, my body and mind will be healthy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica:)

Those are actually good countries. It's so peaceful to live there. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I can move to another country, I would like to go to Australia or New Zealand.
>>CORRECT

I don't have a special reason to live there, I just think Australia is a natural place.
>> I don't have a special reason to live there. I just think that Australia is a natural place.

It has good air and beautiful natural scenery.
>> The air there is good and it has beautiful sceneries. 

If I live there, my body and mind will be healthy.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116746 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 570
116745 What sea creature scares you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 3
116744 What is your biggest goal in life? How do you plan to achieve... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 973
116743 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 614
116742 Do you think that internet will replace books? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 526
116741 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116740 google ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116739 Google Doc ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116738 The weekend ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2
116737 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 438
116736 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 693
116735 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116734 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116733 Writing Task(Feb 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 511
116732 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 809
116731 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 750
116730 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 684
116729 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 662
116728 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 564
116727 Most People Keep their New Year\'s Resolution À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04