¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your greatest achievement as a student and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-09 193

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, my greatest achievement as a student is finding my own life.
Many people may think that the most important purpose of students is study.
But the purpose of study is searching our own lives, and living our own lives.
But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be took care by their parents.
So I think the biggest achievement of students is study.
And also I am a student, so I think my greatest purpose as a student is discovering my interests, and being ready for my own life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's a good way to see the life ahead of us. You have a very positive perspective. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, my greatest achievement as a student is finding my own life.
>> CORRECT

Many people may think that the most important purpose of students is study.]
>> Many people may think that the most important purpose of a students is to study. 

But the purpose of study is searching our own lives, and living our own lives.
>> But the purpose of studying is to search our purpose in life and live it well. 

But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be took care by their parents.
>> But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be taken care of their parents. 

So I think the biggest achievement of students is study.
>> So, I think the biggest achievement of students is studying.

And also I am a student, so I think my greatest purpose as a student is discovering my interests, and being ready for my own life.
>> I am also a student so I think that my greatest purpose is to discover my interests and be ready for the future. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116240 homewo ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 659
116239 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1563
116238 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 403
116237 Is it important to have ambitions? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 0
116236 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 512
116235 Hi Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 617
116234 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 464
116233 2/9 homework! ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3
116232 Why is it important to learn history at school? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116231 2/9 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 920
116230 Does your hobby interfere with your work/study/personal life?... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 223
116229 Hi~~teacher ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 367
116228 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 3
116227 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 522
116226 Do you think change is important? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 182
116225 Do you become impatient when you have to wait in a long line? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 656
116224 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 425
116223 The busiest day. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 2
116222 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 478
116221 What is your greatest achievement as a student and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 193

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04