¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

2022.2.8

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*
2022-02-09 374

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
Kindly answer the following in essay form.
If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and why?

Answer: I want go South Korea. Because I go last is 7 years ago.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne :)

That sounds like a fun trip! I hope you can go there very soon and meet your family and friends again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I want go South Korea. Because I go last is 7 years ago. 
>> I want to go to South Korea because it's been 7 years since I have been there. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116020 When was the last time you achieved a goal? How did you feel? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 711
116019 Which beverages do you think are the most popular in the world... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 942
116018 Which is better: to complain or not to complain? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-30 716
116017 Have a weekend!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 985
116016 How do you feel and what happens to you when you don\'t get... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 396
116015 The first time that my father touched my shoulder ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 311
116014 Talk about your best memory from a holiday ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 1
116013 What do you think is interesting about your culture? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 0
116012 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-29 597
116011 Essay (Jan 28th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 523
116010 ielts task 1 ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 504
116009 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 138
116008 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 288
116007 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 400
116006 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 331
116005 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 221
116004 What motivates you to keep working? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 542
116003 Is it important to have a goal? Why or why not? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 339
116002 Food chain boosts profile on back of BTS member\'s... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0
116001 More people turn to lady luck amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04