무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

If robots really did take over all (or most) jobs, what do you think would happen?

작성자: 황*하
2022-02-08 901

회원님의 영작문

There were 3 major industrial revolution in world history. It gave us many opportunities to produce more goods and made us more convenient in daily lives. However, huge people lost their jobs due to automation. In addition, working hours have been increasing more and more, although, we have adapted new technologies. That's not the results we expected. All scientific development definitely help people in all areas but it also have seriously negative effect such as job loss. Professionals insist that there will be more new jobs in the future even though, factory workers will lose their jobs. Robots will take over simple work but it might not be possible to make judgement, provide mental service and provide baby care services. I guess human want to believe that we are the most valuable species and nothing can replace human's activities. Nevertheless, we have to prepare for our future and must discuss about possible situation. Every revolution went through a period of transition.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Hwang, 

I hope you'll feel better on the next class. 
As I mentioned, I am scared in the evolution of artificial intelligence. 
Though, humans are the ones that can program the ability of robots, I am not in favor of it. 

Teacher Andrea 

There were 3 major industrial revolution in world history.
>> There were 3 major industrial revolution in the world history. 

It gave us many opportunities to produce more goods and made us more convenient in daily lives. 
>> It gave us many opportunities to produce more goods and made our daily life convenient. 

However, huge people lost their jobs due to automation. 
>> However, huge number of people lost their job due to automation. 

In addition, working hours have been increasing more and more, although, we have adapted new technologies. 
>> In addition, working hours have been increasing more and more, although, we already adapted with new technologies. 

That's not the results we expected. 
>> Correct 

All scientific development definitely help people in all areas but it also have seriously negative effect such as job loss. 
>> All scientific developments definitely helped people in all areas but  also have seriously negative effect such as job loss. 

Professionals insist that there will be more new jobs in the future even though, factory workers will lose their jobs. 
>> Professionals insist that there will be more jobs in the future even though factory workers will lose their jobs. 

Robots will take over simple work but it might not be possible to make judgement, provide mental service and provide baby care services.
>> Correct  

I guess human want to believe that we are the most valuable species and nothing can replace human's activities. 
>> I guess humans want to believe that we are the most valuable species and nothing can replace human's activities.  

Nevertheless, we have to prepare for our future and must discuss about possible situation. 
>> Nevertheless, we have to prepare for our future and must discuss about the possible outcomes. 

Every revolution went through a period of transition.
>> Correct 
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
117585 What would the world be like without plastic? 김*인 완료 2022-03-22 944
117584 Do you think it is important for men to join the military... 신*섭 완료 2022-03-22 964
117583 What motivates you to work in the customer service department of... 문*현 완료 2022-03-21 349
117582 What is a famous work of art in your country and why? 김*규 완료 2022-03-21 1
117581 3/21 homework 이*유 완료 2022-03-21 411
117580 What song makes you sentimental and why? 이*경 완료 2022-03-21 1045
117579 Flow of Choice to Story and Spirit 김*영 완료 2022-03-21 443
117578 Thank you! Donna! 강*이 완료 2022-03-21 1208
117577 Do you think it\'s okay to free animals that have been in... 전*민 완료 2022-03-21 725
117576 Do you think it is important for men to join the military... 황*별 완료 2022-03-21 1455
117575 HOMEWORK 박*민 완료 2022-03-21 4
117574 In a scale of 1-10, 10 as the highest, how well do you think is... 노*주 완료 2022-03-21 1
117573 What are some good habits that you have? Do you have any bad... 태*서 완료 2022-03-21 928
117572 Talk about your memorable school trip. 백*진 완료 2022-03-21 1177
117571 My Homework 강*우 완료 2022-03-21 956
117570 Homework!(About beauty) 윤*경 완료 2022-03-21 563
117569 homework 김*연 완료 2022-03-21 427
117568 HOMEWORK 배*호 완료 2022-03-21 1148
117567 HOMEWORK 배*호 완료 2022-03-21 883
117566 Do you believe that dreams can sometimes predict the future? Why... 신*후 완료 2022-03-21 740

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]