¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Seoul is nice but!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-07 597

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
And me too.
But they don't have any area. Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne:)

I do realize the inconvenience that it brings to non-smokers. This can be really bad for an individuals health so there should be designated places for them to smoke instead. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!
I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
>> I think Seoul is very safe and nice to live in. 

But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
>> But in my opinion, there is one big problem. 

It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
>> It's the smoking areas. Cigarettes have a bad smell.

So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
>> So non-smokers usually hate the smell of it. 

And me too.
>> That includes me. 

But they don't have any area. 
>> CORRECT

Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
>> Many streets are designated as non-smoking areas.

I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. 
>> I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoking areas. 

Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
>> It is because it is not good to see smokers throwing away the cigarette buds on the streets. 

The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.
>> The reason is that Seoul doesn't have many smoking areas.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116391 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 310
116390 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 2
116389 What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 434
116388 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 626
116387 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 532
116386 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 944
116385 Homework(2/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 0
116384 What do you love about your work? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 2
116383 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 647
116382 Why do you think school clubs or organizations are important? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 215
116381 My Personality ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 590
116380 HOMEWORK: Why is it easy or hard for you to introduce someone to... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 453
116379 What makes socializing difficult? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 0
116378 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 730
116377 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 268
116376 lesson 2 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 551
116375 Why do you think people don\'t like to practice gardening? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 3
116374 lesson 2 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 711
116373 If you could live in a city under the ocean, would you want to?... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 3
116372 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04