¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-07 202

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, then, the city will be more peaceful.
A few days ago, one person killed other person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.
This terrible thing happened because of their less polite.
And I think Koreans are not that polite to one another.
So I think we should be more polite to one another.
Of course our living conditions are important, but I think these kinds of problems are more important.
If we think one another more than before, we might be able to change this world more peaceful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

I was shocked with what you said. Some people have very short tempers. I hope this won't happen again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, then, the city will be more peaceful.
>> In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, the the city will be more peaceful.

A few days ago, one person killed other person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.
>> A few days ago, one person killed another person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.

This terrible thing happened because of their less polite.
>> This terrible thing happened because of their impolite attitudes. 

And I think Koreans are not that polite to one another.
>> CORRECT

So I think we should be more polite to one another.
>> CORRECT

Of course our living conditions are important, but I think these kinds of problems are more important.
>> CORRECT

If we think one another more than before, we might be able to change this world more peaceful.
>> If we consider each other more that before, we we might make this world more peaceful. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115941 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 651
115940 Do you enjoy having people over to your house? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 182
115939 resume_ request to review È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 7
115938 It is easy to be worse the global warming, but it\'s hard to... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 467
115937 What do you use to help you plan? A smartphone application?... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 299
115936 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 788
115935 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1371
115934 What do people do on the street that annoys you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 131
115933 look for ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115932 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 313
115931 My first vocal teacher:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 613
115930 What would you do if you had to travel to a country where its... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 327
115929 What is your favorite exercise and why? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 366
115928 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 611
115927 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 276
115926 Do you think it is best to argue or just walk away? À±*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115925 Who is the teacher that inspired you the most and what is the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 350
115924 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115923 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 413
115922 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 880

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04