¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-07 188

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, then, the city will be more peaceful.
A few days ago, one person killed other person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.
This terrible thing happened because of their less polite.
And I think Koreans are not that polite to one another.
So I think we should be more polite to one another.
Of course our living conditions are important, but I think these kinds of problems are more important.
If we think one another more than before, we might be able to change this world more peaceful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

I was shocked with what you said. Some people have very short tempers. I hope this won't happen again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, then, the city will be more peaceful.
>> In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, the the city will be more peaceful.

A few days ago, one person killed other person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.
>> A few days ago, one person killed another person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.

This terrible thing happened because of their less polite.
>> This terrible thing happened because of their impolite attitudes. 

And I think Koreans are not that polite to one another.
>> CORRECT

So I think we should be more polite to one another.
>> CORRECT

Of course our living conditions are important, but I think these kinds of problems are more important.
>> CORRECT

If we think one another more than before, we might be able to change this world more peaceful.
>> If we consider each other more that before, we we might make this world more peaceful. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116066 2022.2.3 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 360
116065 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 400
116064 When was the last time you needed help from someone? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 391
116063 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 645
116062 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 426
116061 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 1048
116060 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 412
116059 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 5
116058 Jacob and Elas ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 2
116057 Taxi sharing to be revived in Seoul after 40 years À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 4
116056 Vacation ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 213
116055 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 253
116054 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Explain your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 0
116053 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 2
116052 Ph.D. ...? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 11
116051 ESSAY: Is it good or bad to be an only child? Explain. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 646
116050 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 756
116049 What do you think of the saying, \"The customer is always... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 0
116048 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 496
116047 What was the best food you have ever tried? Why do you think it... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04