무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Claire\'s Homework

작성자: 박*연
2022-02-05 431

회원님의 영작문



Homework: Why is it necessary for nations to have a good relationship?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Very well said Claire. Thank you for this great explanation. Keep it up!


In most nations, there are tragic histories as wars, invasions, and colonization. 

>>> correct  

Korea for example went through the Japanese colonial period which caused hostility between Korea and Japan since now. 

>>>  Korea for example went through the Japanese colonial period which has caused hostility between Korea and Japan until now. 

But keeping a good relationship with other countries is necessary because country relationships affect the most important and necessary components national defense, economy, and diplomacy.

>>>  But keeping a good relationship with other countries is necessary because country relationships affect the most important and necessary components such as national defense, economy, and diplomacy. 

Firstly, benefits for national defense.

>>>  correct    

For an example of Korea, while Japanese colonial period Korea was completely oppressed without any doubt of little defiance against Japan. 

>>> For an example of Korea, during the Japanese colonial period, Korea was completely oppressed without any doubt of little defiance against Japan.   

While Koreans could hardly think of fighting against Japanese unfair and ruthless rule, America has dropped an atomic bomb on Japan. 

>>> OR: While Koreans could hardly think of fighting against Japan's unfair and ruthless rule, America has dropped an atomic bomb on Japan. 

That became the opportunity for the independence of Korea. 

>>> correct 

After that, America and Korea became allied nations which is beneficial to each nation.

>>> correct  

Secondly, benefits for the economy.

>>> correct 

As there are many interchanges with other nations, the much profit our nation gains. 

>>>  As there are many interchanges with other nations, the more profit our nation gains.

>>> OR: As there are many trades with other nations, the more profit our nation gains.   

To have many chances of interchanges, the relationship with other nations should be good. 

>>>   correct  

The happening of Korea in the past would prove it. 

>>>  correct 

>>> OR: The incident in Korea in the past would prove it.  

Because of the influence of the past, there were many boycotts of Japanese goods. 

>>>   correct  

The blow was severe for a few Japanese franchise stores. 

>>>  correct   

Some stores were even exposed to the danger of closing. 

>>>  correct   

Ultimately, the bad relationship with Japan caused this to happen. 

>>>  correct   

The relationship with many nations is necessary for many trades with diverse countries.

>>>  correct   

Lastly, benefits for the diplomacy.

>>>  correct    

Diplomatic politics is also one of the most important formations that construct the structure of good diplomacy. 

>>>  correct     

In most situations, bad relationship with other nations causes diplomatic conflicts. 

>>>  correct   

And sometimes, simple conflicts end up in wars. 

>>>  correct   

Therefore, stable countries should not be involved in international conflicts. 

>>>  correct   

Having a stable and good relationship with other nations can give a beneficial influence on diplomacy. 

>>>  correct   

Diplomacy is a wrap-up for both national defenses and the economy. 

>>>  correct   

Accordingly, having stable diplomacy means the country has a stable economy and well-trained troops for national defense.

>>>  correct     

Having a good relationship with other nations is crucial because it decides the ultimate faith of the country. 

>>>  correct   

National defense, economy, and diplomacy all take a part in forming a country. 

>>>  correct   

A good relationship with other nations keeps the world peaceful and furthermore, a good relationship is a beneficial component for a frame of the country.

>>>  correct   

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
116171 What is the best lesson you have learned from one of your... 류*주 완료 2022-02-08 355
116170 Wednesday Homework 류*우 완료 2022-02-08 427
116169 Homework 기*현 완료 2022-02-08 152
116168 Abroad 김*영 완료 2022-02-08 4
116167 Which do you think is better to rent or to buy a property? 김*국 완료 2022-02-08 3
116166 Do you become impatient when you have to wait in a long line? 박*연 완료 2022-02-08 432
116165 Homework 이*빈 완료 2022-02-08 551
116164 Writing Essay 김*원 완료 2022-02-08 1229
116163 Why kids should follow the school rules. 김*성 완료 2022-02-08 412
116162 If robots really did take over all (or most) jobs, what do you... 황*하 완료 2022-02-08 829
116161 online 권*희 완료 2022-02-08 677
116160 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-02-08 1
116159 My first vocal lesson 이*은 완료 2022-02-08 912
116158 expression correct 이*경 완료 2022-02-08 1
116157 2022.2.7 전* 완료 2022-02-08 368
116156 2022.2.4 전* 완료 2022-02-08 362
116155 homework 박*윤 완료 2022-02-08 537
116154 What will you buy for your family once you started earning your... 엄*주 완료 2022-02-08 738
116153 Writing Task (Feb 7th, 2022) 남*승 완료 2022-02-08 351
116152 Why are exams important? 윤*준 완료 2022-02-08 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]