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Claire\'s Homework

작성자: 박*연
2022-02-05 489

회원님의 영작문



Homework: Why is it necessary for nations to have a good relationship?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Very well said Claire. Thank you for this great explanation. Keep it up!


In most nations, there are tragic histories as wars, invasions, and colonization. 

>>> correct  

Korea for example went through the Japanese colonial period which caused hostility between Korea and Japan since now. 

>>>  Korea for example went through the Japanese colonial period which has caused hostility between Korea and Japan until now. 

But keeping a good relationship with other countries is necessary because country relationships affect the most important and necessary components national defense, economy, and diplomacy.

>>>  But keeping a good relationship with other countries is necessary because country relationships affect the most important and necessary components such as national defense, economy, and diplomacy. 

Firstly, benefits for national defense.

>>>  correct    

For an example of Korea, while Japanese colonial period Korea was completely oppressed without any doubt of little defiance against Japan. 

>>> For an example of Korea, during the Japanese colonial period, Korea was completely oppressed without any doubt of little defiance against Japan.   

While Koreans could hardly think of fighting against Japanese unfair and ruthless rule, America has dropped an atomic bomb on Japan. 

>>> OR: While Koreans could hardly think of fighting against Japan's unfair and ruthless rule, America has dropped an atomic bomb on Japan. 

That became the opportunity for the independence of Korea. 

>>> correct 

After that, America and Korea became allied nations which is beneficial to each nation.

>>> correct  

Secondly, benefits for the economy.

>>> correct 

As there are many interchanges with other nations, the much profit our nation gains. 

>>>  As there are many interchanges with other nations, the more profit our nation gains.

>>> OR: As there are many trades with other nations, the more profit our nation gains.   

To have many chances of interchanges, the relationship with other nations should be good. 

>>>   correct  

The happening of Korea in the past would prove it. 

>>>  correct 

>>> OR: The incident in Korea in the past would prove it.  

Because of the influence of the past, there were many boycotts of Japanese goods. 

>>>   correct  

The blow was severe for a few Japanese franchise stores. 

>>>  correct   

Some stores were even exposed to the danger of closing. 

>>>  correct   

Ultimately, the bad relationship with Japan caused this to happen. 

>>>  correct   

The relationship with many nations is necessary for many trades with diverse countries.

>>>  correct   

Lastly, benefits for the diplomacy.

>>>  correct    

Diplomatic politics is also one of the most important formations that construct the structure of good diplomacy. 

>>>  correct     

In most situations, bad relationship with other nations causes diplomatic conflicts. 

>>>  correct   

And sometimes, simple conflicts end up in wars. 

>>>  correct   

Therefore, stable countries should not be involved in international conflicts. 

>>>  correct   

Having a stable and good relationship with other nations can give a beneficial influence on diplomacy. 

>>>  correct   

Diplomacy is a wrap-up for both national defenses and the economy. 

>>>  correct   

Accordingly, having stable diplomacy means the country has a stable economy and well-trained troops for national defense.

>>>  correct     

Having a good relationship with other nations is crucial because it decides the ultimate faith of the country. 

>>>  correct   

National defense, economy, and diplomacy all take a part in forming a country. 

>>>  correct   

A good relationship with other nations keeps the world peaceful and furthermore, a good relationship is a beneficial component for a frame of the country.

>>>  correct   

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