¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-02-05 718

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there needs to be a place to take a rest in order to improve in my city. For example a city forest with nature. And there should be a place to enjoy cultural life. Lastly, It's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic:)

That's true. There should be a place for people to unwind in. Living in a city can be very hectic so having a place to relax in would be perfect. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think there needs to be a place to take a rest in order to improve in my city. 
>> I think there needs to be a place where we can take a rest to improve my city. 

For example a city forest with nature. 
>> For example, there should be a forest in a city so we can see nature. 

And there should be a place to enjoy cultural life. 
>> There should also be a place where  we can enjoy our culture. 

Lastly, It's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)
>> Lastly, it's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115820 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 412
115819 Places with Contents ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 571
115818 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 730
115817 Have you ever left discrimination from other people before? How... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 759
115816 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 317
115815 Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 417
115814 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 1
115813 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-22 1
115812 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 0
115811 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1289
115810 Do you like meeting new people? ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 2
115809 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 658
115808 Have you ever felt discrimination from other people before? How... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 377
115807 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 419
115806 We have to protect animals because of ecosystem ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 364
115805 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 519
115804 My second day. ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 756
115803 Can music influence your behavior? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 808
115802 How do you feel about making choices for other people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 691
115801 what kind of art do you like the most? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04