¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-02-04 326

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To improve living conditions, my city should set up the gas because in my town, there aren't gas lines yet. City gas is cheap and useful but there aren't gas lines, so I'm sad. If city gas is set up in my town, residents and my family will be able to live more comfortable life. Also, my city should open a ​subway. My city is not small but there isn't subway. So, when I visit other city, I'm uncomfortable. I hope that I can take a subway.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly:)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

To improve living conditions, my city should set up the gas because in my town, there aren't gas lines yet. 
>> To improve living conditions, my city should set up a gas station because there are none in my town. 

City gas is cheap and useful but there aren't gas lines, so I'm sad. 
>> The price of gas in a city is cheap and useful but we don't have it here in our town so I feel sad. 

If city gas is set up in my town, residents and my family will be able to live more comfortable life. 
>> If this would be set up, residents will live more comfortably. 

Also, my city should open a ​subway. 
>> Also, my city should open a subway. 

My city is not small but there isn't subway. 
>> My city is not small but there is not subway here. 

So, when I visit other city, I'm uncomfortable. 
>> So when I visit another country, I feel uncomfortable. 

I hope that I can take a subway.
>> I hope that I can take the subway.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115989 Essay (Jan 25th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 612
115988 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 1
115987 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 445
115986 vikings À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 1
115985 resume È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 4
115984 Task ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 748
115983 What are the qualities of a good leader for you? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 0
115982 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-28 759
115981 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? Explain why. Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 890
115980 Being wise is better than fool courage ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 903
115979 What are the consequences if you do not follow school rules? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 997
115978 Why do people end up being homeless? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 260
115977 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1002
115976 How has technology changed business? Do you think it\'s created... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 609
115975 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115974 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 492
115973 Who is the teacher that inspired you the most and what is the... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115972 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115971 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 975
115970 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04