¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

LIving WIth Someone

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ì
2022-02-04 697

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think living with someone is better than living alone. It can be more fun living with someon than living alone, because we can play, talk together, spend our time together when we live with someone. However it can be very boring when we live alone. Also we can easily be depressed when we live alone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Alex:)

That's true. It's more comforting to live with another person. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think living with someone is better than living alone. 
>> CORRECT

It can be more fun living with someon than living alone, because we can play, talk together, spend our time together when we live with someone.
>> It can be more fun living with someone than living alone because we can play, talk together and spend our time together.

 However it can be very boring when we live alone. 
>> On the other hand, it can be very boring when we live alone. 

Also we can easily be depressed when we live alone.
>> Also, we can easily be depressed when we live alone. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116533 29.30.31 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 408
116532 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116531 When I got a job, I moved out of my parents\' house. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116530 Is giving a good first impression important? ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116529 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 207
116528 How do you feel and what do you do after a long vacation?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 0
116527 How do you feel and what do you do after a long vacation?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 211
116526 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116525 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 193
116524 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 224
116523 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 2
116522 What are some things about the eating habits you want to change? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 345
116521 HOMEWORK: What are your favorite foods? / What should we eat... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 228
116520 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 1
116519 The advantages and disadvantages. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 3
116518 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 393
116517 yummy~ ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 8
116516 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 261
116515 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 226
116514 homework.7 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-17 397

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04