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It is easy to be worse the global warming, but it\'s hard to restore

작성자: 김*우
2022-01-26 459

회원님의 영작문

I do a lot of things that can affect to global warming. When I ride a car, then 59 gram of CO2 leak for 1 km. And when I use air conditional in summer, then 258 gram of CO2 leak for hour. Aside from these, I used appliances and transportation and leak lots of CO2 a day. Think that about 7500000000 people live like it. There will be too much CO2 in this world! In addition, there are lots of factories that leak CO2. In the case of a steam power plant, 991 gram of CO2 to produce 1 kWh. Then how can we try not to leak CO2 as possible as small? The way is simple. It's just reducing the frequency of using car and appliances which are not vital. We should use nature. For example, we can use the cool air in the mountain or wind instead of air conditional. And we can ride bike or running instead of car if the distance is short. Finally, we have to build lots of nuclear power plants. This power plant produce lots of electricity with leaking small CO2. However, we should try to do the first way.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Daniel! Your work is amazing! You researched your answer. I learned a lot from your homework. Superb! However, take note of the corrections to improve more,

- Teacher Debbie

I do a lot of things that can affect to global warming. 
>> I do a lot of things that contribute to global warming.

When I ride a car, then 59 gram of CO2 leak for 1 km. 
>> When I ride a car, 59 grams of CO2 leaks every kilometer.

And when I use air conditional in summer, then 258 gram of CO2 leak for hour. 
>> Moreover, when I use the air conditioner in summer, 258 grams of CO2 leak every hour.

Aside from these, I used appliances and transportation and leak lots of CO2 a day.
>> Aside from these,  I used appliances and transportation which give off a lot of CO2 a day.

Think that about 7500000000 people live like it.
>> Imagine about 7,500,000,000 people living like this.

There will be too much CO2 in this world! 
>> This is a good sentence.

In addition, there are lots of factories that leak CO2.
>> This is a good sentence.

In the case of a steam power plant, 991 gram of CO2 to produce 1 kWh. 
>> In the case of a steam power plant, 991 grams of CO2 produce 1 kWh. 

Then how can we try not to leak CO2 as possible as small? 
>> Then how can we prevent CO2 leakage?

The way is simple. 
>> It is simple.

It's just reducing the frequency of using car and appliances which are not vital.
>> It's just reducing the frequency of using cars and appliances, which are not vital.

We should use nature.
>> We should make use of nature.

 For example, we can use the cool air in the mountain or wind instead of air conditional. 
>> For example, we can make use of a mountain's cool air or wind instead of air conditioners.

And we can ride bike or running instead of car if the distance is short. 
>> In addition, we can ride bikes or run instead of using cars if the distance is short.

Finally, we have to build lots of nuclear power plants. 
>> This is a good sentence.

This power plant produce lots of electricity with leaking small CO2. 
>> This power plant produces lots of electricity but leaks little CO2. 

However, we should try to do the first way.
>> However, we should try to reduce car and appliance usage first.
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