¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-25 454

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't think that older people are always right.
Because in this world, there are many criminals who are older than me.
They are all older people but they did the crime.
And the crime is not a good thing or a right thing in this world.
So they are all punished and they have to reflect on their selves through their rest of the lives.
So I don't think that older people are always right.
They are all people too, so they can make different kinds of mistakes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's true. Every person makes mistakes. Humans are not perfect regardless is you are  older or younger so we have to respect each other equally. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I don't think that older people are always right.
>> CORRECT

Because in this world, there are many criminals who are older than me.
>> CORRECT

They are all older people but they did the crime.
>> They are all older people but they still commit crimes. 

And the crime is not a good thing or a right thing in this world.
>> And committing crime is not a good thing. 

So they are all punished and they have to reflect on their selves through their rest of the lives.
>> So, they are all punished and they have to reflect on their actions by themselves for the rest of their lives. 

So I don't think that older people are always right.
>> CORRECT

They are all people too, so they can make different kinds of mistakes.
>> They are still people so  they can make mistakes as well regardless of the age. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115947 Why do you think people sell secondhand products these days? ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115946 What is your thought about a four-day workweek? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 106
115945 Is it okay to have plastic surgery even if you\'re a minor? ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1
115944 Do you think pets are good for a person\'s health? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 0
115943 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-27 1294
115942 How do you feel about making choices for other people? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 281
115941 Which one do you think is better, living alone or with someone?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 649
115940 Do you enjoy having people over to your house? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 181
115939 resume_ request to review È«*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 7
115938 It is easy to be worse the global warming, but it\'s hard to... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 464
115937 What do you use to help you plan? A smartphone application?... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 295
115936 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 783
115935 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1368
115934 What do people do on the street that annoys you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 127
115933 look for ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 1
115932 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 309
115931 My first vocal teacher:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 610
115930 What would you do if you had to travel to a country where its... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 325
115929 What is your favorite exercise and why? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 361
115928 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-26 608

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04