¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Àº
2022-01-24 419

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

I agree that the junk food effects negatively our environment. The junk food has been using a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for only packing. It is the cause environment pollution. Also, fast food is for eating fast like its name. eating habits are also changed us eat fast. These things make us gain fat and indigestion. Moreover, according to eating time with family is decreased, family's relationship become low.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Luel!^^How are you today? I miss you! Thanks for writing your essay!  Remind yourself the REASON why you¡¯re writing. It¡¯s about realizing the value you get from writing. So when you finally understand the ¡°why¡± behind your writing, writing won¡¯t feel like an obstacle.

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

I agree that the junk food effects negatively our environment. 

>>>I agree that junk food affects our environment negatively. 

The junk food has been using a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for only packing.

>>> Junk food has been including a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for packing.

 It is the cause environment pollution. 

>>>  It is the cause of environment pollution. 

Also, fast food is for eating fast like its name. 

>>> Also, fast food is quick meal like its name. 

eating habits are also changed us eat fast. 

>>> Eating habits have also changed us to eat fast. 

These things make us gain fat and indigestion.

>>> These things make us gain fat and caused indigestion.

 Moreover, according to eating time with family is decreased, family's relationship become low.

>>>  Moreover, eating time with the family has decreased. Family relationship has become so low.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116415 Hug:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 241
116414 homework.5 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 358
116413 Q. Do you like meeting new people? Á¤*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 316
116412 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 648
116411 What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 332
116410 What is the best and worst thing about traveling to a new... À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 3
116409 What is one unique way we can show our love to other people? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-15 670
116408 2/14 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 655
116407 Homework ¼Õ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 432
116406 homework(3) Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 229
116405 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 410
116404 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 380
116403 Some people say that marriage is outdated (too old-fashioned and... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 237
116402 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 3
116401 I really appreciate god ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 541
116400 Both ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 2
116399 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 326
116398 good traveling ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 363
116397 Where do you wish to live when you are old? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 224
116396 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-14 217

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04