¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are older people actually wiser?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-23 629

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that all older people are not wiser. Older people don't become wiser people. When they try to be wiser in their life, they can be wiser. People have learned lots of things during life time. But, knowledge should change over time. The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems, it must change according to time or situations. A person who can change his knowledge to match with time or situations is wiser person.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Hwanny! :)
Thank you for diligently writing this essay. 
It is true that age doesn't always equal to knowledge. 
In my opinion, experience is equal to knowledge. 
Anyhow, I hope you're doing great on a Monday. 
See you again in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I think that all older people are not wiser. 
>> CORRECT!
Older people don't become wiser people. 
>> CORRECT!
When they try to be wiser in their life, they can be wiser. 
>> When they try to be wiser in their lives, they can be wiser.
People have learned lots of things during life time. 
>> People learn a lot of things during their lifetime. 
But, knowledge should change over time. 
>> CORRECT!
The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems, it must change according to time or situations. 
>> The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems and it must change according to the time or situations. 
A person who can change his knowledge to match with time or situations is wiser person. 
>> A person who can change his knowledge to match with the time or situations is the wiser person.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115409 What is an alcoholic? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115408 Homework (1/7) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 2
115407 What do you think should be done to improve the living... ±è*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 466
115406 When people are wealthy or successful, do they have a special... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 0
115405 What are the best ways to make a good first impression? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 400
115404 My ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1
115403 Homeless ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1086
115402 Prepare for my audition and interview ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 580
115401 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 0
115400 Tell Me About a Time You Demonstrated Leadership Skills. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 360
115399 Are you good at dealing with colleagues/customers from different... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1434
115398 Do you enjoy taking risks/challenges? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 168
115397 What do you think of a 4 day weekday (Working for only 4 days,... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1086
115396 homework (¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 1187
115395 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 757
115394 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 129
115393 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 559
115392 Is there a conflict between mandatory vaccination and the right... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 2
115391 When was the last time you got sick? Write about it. ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 2489
115390 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 348

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04