¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are older people actually wiser?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-23 594

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that all older people are not wiser. Older people don't become wiser people. When they try to be wiser in their life, they can be wiser. People have learned lots of things during life time. But, knowledge should change over time. The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems, it must change according to time or situations. A person who can change his knowledge to match with time or situations is wiser person.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Hwanny! :)
Thank you for diligently writing this essay. 
It is true that age doesn't always equal to knowledge. 
In my opinion, experience is equal to knowledge. 
Anyhow, I hope you're doing great on a Monday. 
See you again in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I think that all older people are not wiser. 
>> CORRECT!
Older people don't become wiser people. 
>> CORRECT!
When they try to be wiser in their life, they can be wiser. 
>> When they try to be wiser in their lives, they can be wiser.
People have learned lots of things during life time. 
>> People learn a lot of things during their lifetime. 
But, knowledge should change over time. 
>> CORRECT!
The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems, it must change according to time or situations. 
>> The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems and it must change according to the time or situations. 
A person who can change his knowledge to match with time or situations is wiser person. 
>> A person who can change his knowledge to match with the time or situations is the wiser person.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116816 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 646
116815 Writing Task (Feb 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 503
116814 Which one do you think is better, living in a country that has 2... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 411
116813 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 418
116812 When was the last time you visited a doctor? Why did you visit... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 473
116811 2022.2.24 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 464
116810 The things that have fruit smells Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 324
116809 What do you like most about family gatherings? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 525
116808 Which one do you think is better, living in a country that has 2... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 463
116807 What important thing do you bring when you travel? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-25 1
116806 What should we do to stay safe these days? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116805 2/24 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1061
116804 at the gym. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2
116803 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 0
116802 In which jobs do people have to make very quick decisions based... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 602
116801 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1024
116800 Which one do you think is better, living in a country that has 2... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 491
116799 Homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 613
116798 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 3
116797 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04