¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Money is most need thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-20 805

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Yes, we need to be wise with handling money. It can be very powerful and controlling. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
>> If I was born rich, my parents would teach me how to handle money well. 

But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
>> But if I were poor, I would want to be rich which can be dangerous. 

I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
>> I won't know how to properly use money and I won't have any economic ideas for myself. 

Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.
>> Money is something that we need but if I don't have enough knowledge to handle it, it can be dangerous. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115558 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115557 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 157
115556 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 540
115555 What is your favorite part of the day? Answer in a few sentences. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115554 How will you encourage other people to take their vaccine?... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115553 Why do you think people don\'t want to take other people\'s... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115552 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 376
115551 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 688
115550 Homework (1/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115549 What are the common barriers to effective communication? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 291
115548 Writing Task (Jan 13th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1496
115547 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 551
115546 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 455
115545 Thank you! Fiona! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 371
115544 game ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 184
115543 Do you think that most immigrants are refugees from other... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 3
115542 Why do you think people equate healthy to being thin? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 5
115541 Time for Book ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 127
115540 2022.1.12 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 322
115539 2022.1.11 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 366

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04