¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

you can¡¯t buy happiness\". If you were richer, do you think you would be happier?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: º¯*¿ø
2022-01-19 133

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was young, in my early 20s, i struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I nothing but got stressed.
At one moment, I realized something goes wrong. I was enlightend that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. And the more I have (like fancy clothes, gadgets, a car and so on) the more I was concerned about them. And I knew that the less I have, the simpler my life will be.
I felt myself poor when I was student without allowance. And the poorless continued until my 20s because of my father's business failure.
So I am still hungry for money. But now I know that enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. On the contrary, becoming the rich makes someone nervous, unstable and dissatisfied toward life.
Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my lifetime and want to know how it feels like :))
(My definition of happiness is the time with my family whoi

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, John! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next week! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


When I was young, in my early 20s, i struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I nothing but got stressed.
>> When I was in my early 20s, I struggled to earn more money at the expense of my youth time and I got nothing but stress.

At one moment, I realized something is wrong. 

I was enlightend that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. 
>> I was enlightened that the more I earn money, the more greedy to have much money was followed. 

And the more I have (like fancy clothes, gadgets, a car and so on) the more I was concerned about them. 
>> CORRECT!

And I knew that the less I have, the simpler my life will be.
>> CORRECT!

I felt myself poor when I was student without allowance. 
>> I felt poor when I was a student without allowance. 

And the poorless continued until my 20s because of my father's business failure.
>> And the brokenness continued until my 20's because my father's business was not a success.

So I am still hungry for money. 
>> CORRECT!

But now I know that enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. 
>> But now I know that having enough money can afford my financial affairs to be relaxed(stabled) but cannot bring happiness or contentment. 

On the contrary, becoming the rich makes someone nervous, unstable and dissatisfied toward life.
>> On the contrary, becoming rich makes someone nervous, unstable, and dissatisfied with life.

Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my lifetime and want to know how it feels like :))
>> Even so, I wish that I could be a billionaire once in my life and I want to know what it feels like. :)

(My definition of happiness is the time with my family who
>> My definition of happiness is spending time with my family.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116041 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 594
116040 Who is the best and worst president of South Korea? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 416
116039 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 1474
116038 class ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 824
116037 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 764
116036 If you can make a new policy in your school or in a company,... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 465
116035 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 517
116034 Bakery! ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 4
116033 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 380
116032 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 0
116031 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 0
116030 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 0
116029 The Lunar New Year\'s Day. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 1
116028 Worst and best president ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 937
116027 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 1
116026 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-02 1
116025 Parents fight for their LGBTQ children\'s right À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-01 0
116024 Shuttered schools get makeover, gind new purpose À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-01 0
116023 Foreign creators excited over Korea\'s upcoming Hallyu visa À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-01 0
116022 Governmet to raise private gathering size limit to 6, keep 9 pm... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-01 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04