¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What special features do you think should be added to computers? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-18 992

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, nowadays, there are too many unnecessary updates about the security.
Instead, I think we have to make computer more comfortable to use and easier to learn.
In computers, there are too many secret functions that we don't know yet.
They are hard to find and even they are hard to use.
Then, even though they are really useful functions, people don't use those functions.
So we need to design or make the computers easier to find different kinds of functions.
Also it is very helpful to learn how to program and how to use the functions.
So I think we also have to make the computers easier to learn about them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Yes, a lot of people have troubles using computers especially the elderly people. It would be very beneficial if we make it easier for them to use. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, nowadays, there are too many unnecessary updates about the security.
>> CORRECT

Instead, I think we have to make computer more comfortable to use and easier to learn.
>> Instead, I think we have to make computers more comfortable to use and easier to learn.

In computers, there are too many secret functions that we don't know yet.
>> CORRECT

They are hard to find and even they are hard to use.
>> They are hard to find and hard to use.

Then, even though they are really useful functions, people don't use those functions.
>> Even though they are really useful functions, people won't be able to use them because they don't know how to. 

So we need to design or make the computers easier to find different kinds of functions.
>> So we need to design or make  computers easier to handle the functions. 

Also it is very helpful to learn how to program and how to use the functions.
>> Also, it is very helpful to learn how to program and use these functions.

So I think we also have to make the computers easier to learn about them.
>> So I think, we have to make computers easier to use. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115612 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-15 383
115611 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 485
115610 b Çö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115609 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 118
115608 How do you think can we encourage people to take the COVID-19... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 101
115607 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 151
115606 What advice would you give someone who is very busy? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 255
115605 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115604 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115603 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 292
115602 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 492
115601 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115600 What makes a pleasant shopping experience? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 423
115599 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 2
115598 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 148
115597 If you knew your friend\'s husband or wife was cheating on... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 85
115596 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115595 Do you prefer eating out to cooking meal at home? Why or why not? Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 539
115594 What do you think you are best at? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 902
115593 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 504

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04