¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What special features do you think should be added to computers? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-18 977

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, nowadays, there are too many unnecessary updates about the security.
Instead, I think we have to make computer more comfortable to use and easier to learn.
In computers, there are too many secret functions that we don't know yet.
They are hard to find and even they are hard to use.
Then, even though they are really useful functions, people don't use those functions.
So we need to design or make the computers easier to find different kinds of functions.
Also it is very helpful to learn how to program and how to use the functions.
So I think we also have to make the computers easier to learn about them.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Yes, a lot of people have troubles using computers especially the elderly people. It would be very beneficial if we make it easier for them to use. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, nowadays, there are too many unnecessary updates about the security.
>> CORRECT

Instead, I think we have to make computer more comfortable to use and easier to learn.
>> Instead, I think we have to make computers more comfortable to use and easier to learn.

In computers, there are too many secret functions that we don't know yet.
>> CORRECT

They are hard to find and even they are hard to use.
>> They are hard to find and hard to use.

Then, even though they are really useful functions, people don't use those functions.
>> Even though they are really useful functions, people won't be able to use them because they don't know how to. 

So we need to design or make the computers easier to find different kinds of functions.
>> So we need to design or make  computers easier to handle the functions. 

Also it is very helpful to learn how to program and how to use the functions.
>> Also, it is very helpful to learn how to program and use these functions.

So I think we also have to make the computers easier to learn about them.
>> So I think, we have to make computers easier to use. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115746 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115745 How does this pandemic change your birthday celebration? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115744 Is there a kind of drama that you will never watch? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 2
115743 What made Barbara sick, if she just went to a birthday party? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 745
115742 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1
115741 What critical feedback do you most often receive? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 534
115740  What do you think is the worst thing about being in the... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 554
115739 What do you think of renting clothes and toys? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 496
115738 What do you think of renting clothes? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 772
115737 Why are examinations important? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 5
115736 I want to know how they can guess where heritage is ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 303
115735 Can music influence your behavior? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 567
115734 If a book has been made into a movie, which do you prefer to do... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 398
115733 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 687
115732 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1121
115731 Essay (Jan 19th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 606
115730 Would you ever consider going skydiving? Why or why not? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 840
115729 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 329
115728 If life is a highway, what mode of transportation are you using? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 1047
115727 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-19 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04