¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-13 945

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that wealthy nations have to share their wealth among poorer nations. Poor nations want to become rich nations. While they are trying to make money, nature will be destroyed. For example, many experts said, Amazon is a lung of the earth, but Brazil cuts woods to expand industrial area. To keep amazon is worthy for all creature on earth. If wealthy nations share money to Brazil, Brazil doesn't need to develop their country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for taking the time to write an essay. 
I agree that wealthy nations should share a part of their wealth to very poor nations. 
However, I don't think that alone would end the problem on poverty. 
I think wealthier nations should share to poorer nations their economic strategies on how to become rich.
If the poorer nations have the means to do it, it is guaranteed that they would also become rich and won't need to receive financial assistance from richer countries. 
Anyhow, that's just my opinion about it. 
I hope you're doing great. See you again tomorrow. :)
~Teacher Charry

I think that wealthy nations have to share their wealth among poorer nations. 
>> CORRECT!
Poor nations want to become rich nations. 
>> CORRECT!
While they are trying to make money, nature will be destroyed. 
>> While they are trying to make money, their natural resources will be depleted and their environment gets destroyed.
For example, many experts said, Amazon is a lung of the earth, but Brazil cuts woods to expand industrial area. 
>> For example, many experts said that the Amazon is the lung of the Earth but Brazilians destroys the forest to expand their industrial areas. 
To keep amazon is worthy for all creature on earth. 
>> Preserving the Amazon is vital for all creatures on Earth.  
If wealthy nations share money to Brazil, Brazil doesn't need to develop their country.
>> If wealthy nations share their wealth to Brazil, Brazilians don't need to destroy the Amazon forest to develop their country.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115586 Have a weekend!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 338
115585 Are businessmen or influencers entitled to their political... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 3
115584 How long can you stay away from your family? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115583 Would life be boring without a risk? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115582 If you could take a vacation anywhere in the world for any... Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 796
115581 homework2 ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 524
115580 Young people skip insurance amid low financial benefits, low... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115579 Food far better than pills as source of essential nutrients À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115578 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 4
115577 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115576 It is very good story for people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 258
115575 Learn instrument. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 592
115574 Famouse superstition ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 485
115573 About peace! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 127
115572 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 278
115571 Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 945
115570 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 199
115569 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115568 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115567 Homework ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04