¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Thursday homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2022-01-13 107

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q:What advice would you give someone who is very busy?
A:I can't give any advice someone who is very busy because I've never been busy.
But I can say that sometimes you should get some rest or you can be very tired next day.
Also, they can do something that can give fun to him or her when they're resting.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I can't give any advice someone who is very busy because I've never been busy.

>> I can't give any advice to someone who is very busy because I've never been busy.
But I can say that sometimes you should get some rest or you can be very tired next day.

>> But I can say that sometimes, you should get some rest or you might feel very tired the next day.
Also, they can do something that can give fun to him or her when they're resting.

>> Also, they can do something that is fun for him or her when they're resting.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115566 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 402
115565 Some people think that enjoying the present is more important... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 265
115564 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 107
115563 Taking advantage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115562 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 116
115561 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115560 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 722
115559 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 763
115558 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115557 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 117
115556 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 498
115555 What is your favorite part of the day? Answer in a few sentences. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115554 How will you encourage other people to take their vaccine?... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115553 Why do you think people don\'t want to take other people\'s... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115552 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 344
115551 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 670
115550 Homework (1/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115549 What are the common barriers to effective communication? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 276
115548 Writing Task (Jan 13th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1470
115547 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 510

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04