¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If I can live other city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-11 687

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can live other city at South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo Samchuck.
It's my father's work place.
So my parents live there now.
Sometimes when I stay at home alone, it is feel so lonely.
My older brother can not come back to home early time.
And then usually I was sletp first and my brother came back to the home.
Everyday I miss my parents.
That's why I pick the Samchuck.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Great pick! You will enjoy there for sure. Plus, you would have more time with your parents. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

If I can live other city at South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo Samchuck.
>> If I can live other city in South Korea, I'll choose Gangwondo, Samchuck.

It's my father's work place.
>> CORRECT

So my parents live there now.
 >> CORRECT

Sometimes when I stay at home alone, it is feel so lonely.
>> CORRECT

My older brother can not come back to home early time.
>>My older brother doesn't come home at an early time. 

And then usually I was sletp first and my brother came back to the home.
>> I usually sleep first before my brother comes home. 

Everyday I miss my parents.
>> I miss my parents everyday. 

That's why I pick the Samchuck.
>> That's why I pick Samchuck.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 320
115440 My best uncle ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 200
115439 My famous park ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 84
115438 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 363
115437 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 86
115436 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 0
115435 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 0
115434 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 2
115433 E-Reading Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 78
115432 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 174
115431 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 113
115430 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 162
115429 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 229
115428 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 215
115427 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 115
115426 What is your favorite Korean traditional game and why? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115425 Esaay (Jan, 7th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 973
115424 Lucky ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115423 How can students prevent stress from staying at home due to... Á¶*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 553
115422 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 75

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04