¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can parents encourage their kids to do physical activities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-11 1545

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play. They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea. My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym. They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day. I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello, Steve!   You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Superb! Please take note of the corrections .


- Debbie


Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play.
>> 
Parents have to be wise when they are encouraging their kids to do physical activities because kids just want to play.

They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.
>> 
They don't want to do boring physical activities, although they can help build the children's bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea.
>> 
There are many interesting programs customized to help kids grow physically in Korea.

 My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym.
>> This is a good sentence.

 They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day.
>> They seem happy when they go to the gym every day.

I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'
>> 
I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically. As the old saying goes, "A sound mind in a sound body."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115052 I will expect!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 246
115051 What are you most grateful for this Christmas and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 214
115050 The Impact of Fishing Industry ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 1278
115049 How are today¡¯s toys compared with those you played with as a... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 2
115048 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 3
115047 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 3
115046 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 735
115045 Plastic bags should be banned. What do you think? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 2
115044 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 121
115043 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 0
115042 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 2
115041 information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 147
115040 Christmas ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 139
115039 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 197
115038 What are you most grateful for this Christmas and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 0
115037 Christmas!! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 2719
115036 Choose between these holidays and explain your choice: ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 192
115035 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 1
115034 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 726
115033 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 561

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04