¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can parents encourage their kids to do physical activities?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-01-11 1503

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play. They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea. My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym. They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day. I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Hello, Steve!   You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Superb! Please take note of the corrections .


- Debbie


Parents have to be wise when they encourage their kids to do physical activities because Kids want to play.
>> 
Parents have to be wise when they are encouraging their kids to do physical activities because kids just want to play.

They don't want to do boring physical activities although they are sure to helpl build their bodies.
>> 
They don't want to do boring physical activities, although they can help build the children's bodies.

There are many interesting programs customized for helping kids grow physically in Korea.
>> 
There are many interesting programs customized to help kids grow physically in Korea.

 My kids also participate in some programs run by the nearby gym.
>> This is a good sentence.

 They like them that they are happy to go to the gym every day.
>> They seem happy when they go to the gym every day.

I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically, as the old saying goes, 'A sound mind in a sound body'
>> 
I believe this program helps kids develop themselves mentally as well as physically. As the old saying goes, "A sound mind in a sound body."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115452 2022.1.10 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 569
115451 If you have a chance of going out with your friends, where do... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115450 What advice do you have for people who want to study English? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 0
115449 01.10 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115448 Panic attack ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 716
115447 When was the happiest day of your life? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 367
115446 homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 655
115445 Life without weekend will be terrible ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 150
115444 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1341
115443 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 285
115442 What sports I play with my friends. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 79
115441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 324
115440 My best uncle ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 206
115439 My famous park ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 87
115438 Can you talk about three things you like about yourself? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 367
115437 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 89
115436 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 0
115435 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 0
115434 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 2
115433 E-Reading Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 82

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04