¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will you pick and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-11 397

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course I want to live in Seoul.
I am living in the city which is beside on Seoul, so it is comfortable to live but not perfectly.
But I expect that if I go to Seoul, if can be a perfect life for me.
My parents said that a country side is more comfortable than living in city, but I don't think like that.
Because I am born in the city and also I am more comfortable at the city.
I can enjoy a lot of entertainments and also there are a lot of new techniques.
So if I can live in another city in South Korea, I want to live in Seoul.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

That's true. Seoul is the place to be since it is the capital of South Korea. Everything that you can think of is already there which makes it so convenient. Good choice!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

Of course I want to live in Seoul.
>> CORRECT

I am living in the city which is beside on Seoul, so it is comfortable to live but not perfectly.
>> I am living a the city which is beside Seoul, so it is comfortable to live here. Although, it is not perfect. 

But I expect that if I go to Seoul, if can be a perfect life for me.
But I expect that if I go to Seoul, it will be a perfect life for me. 

My parents said that a country side is more comfortable than living in city, but I don't think like that.
>> My parents said that a country side is more comfortable than living in city, but I don't think so. 

Because I am born in the city and also I am more comfortable at the city.
>> It is because  I am born in the city that's why I am more comfortable here. 

I can enjoy a lot of entertainments and also there are a lot of new techniques.
>>I can enjoy a lot of entertainments and there are a lot of new technologies.

So if I can live in another city in South Korea, I want to live in Seoul.
>> So if I can live in another city in South Korea, it would be in Seoul. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115474 If there is a place where you wished to be born, where would it... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 469
115473 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 0
115472 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 275
115471 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 397
115470 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 927
115469 Can you give me one superstition in South Korea? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115468 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 0
115467 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115466 Homework ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115465 Homework (1/10) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115464 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115463 Korea locks in COVID19 pills for 1m people ; here\'s what to know À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115462 What things are irreplaceable? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1159
115461 What things are irreplaceable? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 127
115460 Essay (Jan 11th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 394
115459 > What do you enjoy doing with friends? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 212
115458 sudsidies ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 122
115457 What are some famous places to visit in your birthplace? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 565
115456 What do you do to make yourself fit and healthy? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 149
115455 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 300

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04