¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will you pick and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-11 396

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course I want to live in Seoul.
I am living in the city which is beside on Seoul, so it is comfortable to live but not perfectly.
But I expect that if I go to Seoul, if can be a perfect life for me.
My parents said that a country side is more comfortable than living in city, but I don't think like that.
Because I am born in the city and also I am more comfortable at the city.
I can enjoy a lot of entertainments and also there are a lot of new techniques.
So if I can live in another city in South Korea, I want to live in Seoul.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

That's true. Seoul is the place to be since it is the capital of South Korea. Everything that you can think of is already there which makes it so convenient. Good choice!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

Of course I want to live in Seoul.
>> CORRECT

I am living in the city which is beside on Seoul, so it is comfortable to live but not perfectly.
>> I am living a the city which is beside Seoul, so it is comfortable to live here. Although, it is not perfect. 

But I expect that if I go to Seoul, if can be a perfect life for me.
But I expect that if I go to Seoul, it will be a perfect life for me. 

My parents said that a country side is more comfortable than living in city, but I don't think like that.
>> My parents said that a country side is more comfortable than living in city, but I don't think so. 

Because I am born in the city and also I am more comfortable at the city.
>> It is because  I am born in the city that's why I am more comfortable here. 

I can enjoy a lot of entertainments and also there are a lot of new techniques.
>>I can enjoy a lot of entertainments and there are a lot of new technologies.

So if I can live in another city in South Korea, I want to live in Seoul.
>> So if I can live in another city in South Korea, it would be in Seoul. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115894 Household chores ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 993
115893 Can money buy happiness? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 607
115892 What is the worst age to be and why? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 390
115891 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 857
115890 Writing correction ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0
115889 Writing correction - 1 ±è*¿µ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-01-25 0
115888 Writing correction - 1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0
115887 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 294
115886 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115885 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115884 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115883 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 524
115882 sorry for absent °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0
115881 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1326
115880 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 535
115879 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 117
115878 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 453
115877 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1156
115876 Hi ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 723
115875 TV show~ ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 9

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04