¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homeless

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-09 1083

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have any idea about that topic's knowledge.
Sometimes when I walked the street I saw the homeless people often.
And the season becomeing the winter I'm very worried about them.
Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason to be a homeless.
But the goverment give it to help homeless using taxes, it's not good to way.
I think it's almost not good idea but in my personal opinion, government give it to help find them work and job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

This is a good idea. Maybe this can be a great impact for them to get back on their feet and make their lives better. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't have any idea about that topic's knowledge.
>>I don't have any idea about that topic. 

Sometimes when I walked the street I saw the homeless people often.
>> Sometimes when I walk on the streets, I see homeless people often. 

And the season becomeing the winter I'm very worried about them.
>> Since it is winter, I am very worries about them. 

Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason to be a homeless.
>> Every homeless people have a sad story and hard reason why they are homeless. 

But the goverment give it to help homeless using taxes, it's not good to way.
>> But the government give help to homeless people using taxes which is not a good thing. 

I think it's almost not good idea but in my personal opinion, government give it to help find them work and job
>> I think it's almost not a good idea. But in my personal opinion, the government should help them find jobs. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115315 ESSAY: Some people think products should be designed to last for... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 376
115314 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 118
115313 The value of friendship Á¶*¿Ï ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 342
115312 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115311 What genre of book do you enjoy most? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 263
115310 Homework (1/5) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115309 Where do you want to visit this year? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115308 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 452
115307 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 483
115306 Greetings can be expressed verbally and physically. How can... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 4
115305 What\'s new with you since you moved to Canada? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 330
115304 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115303 law ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 329
115302 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 924
115301 fairy tale I know. ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 169
115300 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 249
115299 Homework Jan.6th. 2022. ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 112
115298 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 516
115297 What is your long term goal? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115296 criteria to recruiting nurses ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 370

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04