¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ºó
2022-01-07 874

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. What kind of business do you want to set up?
-> I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice. They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere". But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious". So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
2. What are the dangers of having our own business?
-> Anxiety of future. Owner don't know today's customer and future customer. So they feel anxiety of future.

Today's diary.
I met my best friend E.S. We talked about our past life for 10 hours. Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time. Just talking all the time. Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home. It was so sad.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Yu Bin. Good job with the homework. You have good writing skills and you can express yourself very well through writing. I hope the following corrections will help you become a better writer. Good luck! ~Jane c",)


1. What kind of business do you want to set up?

I want to set up a restaurant. Because I think many young people don't go to cafe twice.
>> I want to set up a restaurant because I think many young people don't go to the same cafe twice.

They think "coffee flavor is same anywhere".
>> They think, "Coffee flavors are the same everywhere."

But if dining is so tasty in a restaurant, they think "Let's go the restaurnt again, it was so delicious".
>> But if the meal is so tasty in a restaurant, they would think "Let's go to that restaurant again, it was so delicious."

So if i put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.
>> So if I put up a business, I'm going to set up a restaurant.


2. What are the dangers of having our own business?

Anxiety of future.
>> There is anxiety about the future.

Owner don't know today's customer and future customer.
>> The owner does not know the preference of today's customers and future customers.

So they feel anxiety of future.
>> So they feel anxious about the future.


Today's diary.

I met my best friend E.S.
>> CORRECT =)

We talked about our past life for 10 hours.
>> We talked about what has been going on in our lives for 10 hours.

Girl's talk is so funny, we were beware of the passage of time.
>> Girl talk is so fun, we were not aware of the passage of time.

Just talking all the time.
>> We just talked all the time.

Actaully, I want to talk more. But she must go her home.
>> Actually, I wanted to talk more but she had to go home.

It was so sad.
>> CORRECT =)
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115350 What do you consider about a place/apartment/accommodation to... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 312
115349 Vaccine pass enforcement at cram schools, study rooms suspended À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1
115348 Koreans drawn to unhealthy bread À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1
115347 Celltrion\'s COVID-19 candidate treatment shows safety in... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1
115346 the court ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 813
115345 What job do you think most kids your age want to be? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 129
115344 writing3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 670
115343 writing3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 0
115342 writing2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 0
115341 writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 0
115340 Homework 7th, Jan, 2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 978
115339 What preparation will you do before an interview to make a good... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 266
115338 If you can invent something, what would it be? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 692
115337 Why is sleep important? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 1
115336 2022.1.6 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 789
115335 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 247
115334 If you can cook one food every day, What would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-07 181
115333 my compostion related to work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115332 I can enjoy these five food in winter! ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 129
115331 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 417

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04