¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-04 744

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Having kids isn't always necessary for a married couple. In my case, I wanted to have kids after getting married. Fortunately, I have two children. After having children, I have faced lots of troubles until now. One day, I had thought about having a child for a long time. My conclusion is that, raising children is very difficult. It needs lots of effort and money. If I don't have children, I can spend all of my money and rest time for me. I don't need to worry about my children's life. But, if I don't have a child, my life patterns will be the same every day. I will be sick of tired, because of my life patterns. Maybe it is possible to lose my life's goal. Now, I have two children, I don't have enough time to worry about my life's goal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Hwanny! :)
Thank you for writing this impressive essay. You made a lot of nice sentences. Good job!
I agree that it's not necessary to have kids when you're married. But I also agree that having kids gives you a bigger purpose in life. 
See you in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

Having kids isn't always necessary for a married couple. 
>> CORRECT!
In my case, I wanted to have kids after getting married. 
>> CORRECT!
Fortunately, I have two children. 
>> Fortunately, I have had two children.
After having children, I have faced lots of troubles until now. 
>> From the moment I had children, I have been facing lots of troubles. 
One day, I had thought about having a child for a long time. 
>> One day, I thought about having a child after a long time.
My conclusion is that, raising children is very difficult.
>> My conclusion was that, raising children is very difficult.
It needs lots of effort and money. 
>> CORRECT!
If I don't have children, I can spend all of my money and rest time for me.
>> If I don't have children, I can spend all of my money and rest time on my self. 
I don't need to worry about my children's life. 
>> I don't need to worry about my children's lives.
But, if I don't have a child, my life patterns will be the same every day. 
>> CORRECT!
I will be sick of tired, because of my life patterns.
>> 
I will be sick and tired of the same life patterns.
Maybe it is possible to lose my life's goal. 
>> CORRECT!
Now, I have two children, I don't have enough time to worry about my life's goal.
>> Now, I have two children and I don't have enough time to worry about my life's goal.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115005 12/17 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 172
115004 12/23 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 143
115003 How should parents discipline their children? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 1
115002 Kindly make use of these words in your own sentence. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 203
115001 Is being a carnivore healthy? Why or why not? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 0
115000 Love yourself¢½ ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 142
114999 I can\'t choose it:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 249
114998 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 2
114997 Gray for the Unstable Compromise ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 261
114996 Christmas ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 117
114995 What advice would you like to give to your old self and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 129
114994 Do you prefer summer vacation or winter vacations? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 2
114993 What does being rejected feels like? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 0
114992 When was the happiest day of your life and why was it very happy? ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 118
114991 What advice would you like to give to your old self and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 1
114990 What is the best memory you have in school? Explain in detail. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 1
114989 For having a good sleep ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 0
114988 What advice would you like to give to your old self and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 1186
114987 We should fix our personalities ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 578
114986 In your country, is it important to consider the age and... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04