¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Impact of Fishing Industry

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2021-12-27 1269

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Avove 50% of marine plastic is abandoned net. Fishes and Whales are dissappearing due to overfishing. Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly by lack of food which is coming from fishes.
These are the information from the documentary 'Seaspiracy'. I think fishing is causing considerable problems, and i really should reduce seafood for more than 90%.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Justine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


Avove 50% of marine plastic is abandoned net. 

>> Above 50% of marine plastics are abandoned nets. 

Fishes and Whales are dissappearing due to overfishing.

 >> Fishes and whales are disappearing due to overfishing

Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly by lack of food which is coming from fishes.

>> Coral reefs are dying, not just because of global warming and ocean acidification, but mainly, by lack of food which comes from fishes.
These are the information from the documentary 'Seaspiracy'. 

>> These are the information from the documentary, 'Seaspiracy'. 

I think fishing is causing considerable problems, and i really should reduce seafood for more than 90%.

>> I think fishing is causing considerable amount of problems, and it really should be reduced for more than 90%.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115124 What could you do as a child that you can\'t do now? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 135
115123 What future risk do you want to try in your career? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 120
115122 If you could relive one moment in your life, what would it be? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 123
115121 Hello~ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 3
115120 What is your comfort food and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 98
115119 I will miss my friends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 263
115118 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 176
115117 What I\'m grateful for this Christmas.. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 332
115116 If i keep studying so far. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 127
115115 A memory that I want to forget. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 422
115114 free topic ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 132
115113 Can you think of two things you were happy about from this year,... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 117
115112 What are some New Year\'s revolutions you have made in the past? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 98
115111 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 120
115110 What traditions do you have during the Christmas season? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 289
115109 Ran out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 1
115108 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 91
115107 Do you think skin color affects whether a person is regarded as... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 106
115106 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 119
115105 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04