¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-24 123

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
So I had no friends when I was a kid.
But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
So I want to give the advice to my old self.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

There are things that we would like to change in our past. Sometimes we feel regret but often times, it helps us grow into a better person. There is a saying that experiences are the best teachers so we should be thankful for the things in the past. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
>> If I can meet my old self, I would tell him, "You have to enjoy your life.". 

When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
>> When I was a kid, I thought everything seriously.

I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
>>CORRECT

I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
>> CORRECT

So I had no friends when I was a kid.
>> CORRECT

But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
>> But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy or quiet any more.

That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
>> That's the reason why  I have a lot of friends now.

So I want to give the advice to my old self.
>> So I want to tell my old self to enjoy life. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114773 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 310
114772 Why is it necessary to make plans in advance? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 266
114771 I\\\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 348
114770 What¡¯s the best place you¡¯ve ever been to? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114769 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114768 How would be life without art? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 6608
114767 What advice would you give to those foreigners studying... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 196
114766 What might happen if you won\'t use any phones in a day, week,... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114765 What actions are not allowed in your country? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114764 Do you want to learn how to drive? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114763 12.15 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 0
114762 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 865
114761 Advantage and disadvantage of video conferencing application ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 184
114760 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 143
114759 Water is vital to living things ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 181
114758 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 112
114757 Regrets for my life. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 116
114756 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 134
114755 the meaning of my birthday ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 316
114754 Report-3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 328

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04