¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-24 98

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
So I had no friends when I was a kid.
But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
So I want to give the advice to my old self.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

There are things that we would like to change in our past. Sometimes we feel regret but often times, it helps us grow into a better person. There is a saying that experiences are the best teachers so we should be thankful for the things in the past. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
>> If I can meet my old self, I would tell him, "You have to enjoy your life.". 

When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
>> When I was a kid, I thought everything seriously.

I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
>>CORRECT

I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
>> CORRECT

So I had no friends when I was a kid.
>> CORRECT

But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
>> But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy or quiet any more.

That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
>> That's the reason why  I have a lot of friends now.

So I want to give the advice to my old self.
>> So I want to tell my old self to enjoy life. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115155 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 310
115154 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 577
115153 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 133
115152 Over 1/3 households consist of just 1 person À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 1
115151 I\'m doing my homework^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 106
115150 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 1
115149 do you like meeting new people ¿ì*¿í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 123
115148 When do you prefer having a family? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 1
115147 Floor heating system. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 189
115146 What kind of things would you need in order to survive in... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 1
115145 My comfort food ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 125
115144 Very simple ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 110
115143 Special holiday:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 98
115142 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 0
115141 Can you sleep if there¡¯s a lot of noise going on? Have you ever... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 0
115140 I will go to abroad ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 92
115139 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 2
115138 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 110
115137 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 141
115136 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 153

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04