¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What advice would you like to give to your old self and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-24 103

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
So I had no friends when I was a kid.
But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
So I want to give the advice to my old self.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

There are things that we would like to change in our past. Sometimes we feel regret but often times, it helps us grow into a better person. There is a saying that experiences are the best teachers so we should be thankful for the things in the past. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I can meet my old self, I would tell him 'you have to enjoy your life.'.
>> If I can meet my old self, I would tell him, "You have to enjoy your life.". 

When I was a kid before, I thought everything seriously.
>> When I was a kid, I thought everything seriously.

I think I didn't know how to enjoy my life and hang out with other people.
>>CORRECT

I was really shy about meeting new people and I was very quiet.
>> CORRECT

So I had no friends when I was a kid.
>> CORRECT

But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy and quiet any more.
>> But now, I know how to enjoy my life and I'm not shy or quiet any more.

That's the reason that I have a lot of friends now.
>> That's the reason why  I have a lot of friends now.

So I want to give the advice to my old self.
>> So I want to tell my old self to enjoy life. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115290 How do you value friendship? Explain your answer in as much... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 220
115289 writing3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 940
115288 writing2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 319
115287 Wring1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 193
115286 What is the best way for a country to bring in more tourists? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 569
115285 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 322
115284 Would you rather live alone or with other people? Why? º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 996
115283 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 450
115282 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1
115281 Nosy and Concerned ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 2
115280 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 0
115279 My strengths ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 403
115278 Something Successful ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 147
115277 Do you think a mother is a better \"stay-at-home parent\" than a... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1
115276 How are penguins different from other birds? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1
115275 If you can invent something, what would it be? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 2770
115274 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1
115273 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 387
115272 Personality ¹®*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 754
115271 kku`s homwork °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 8

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04