¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

12/23

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*°æ
2021-12-24 147

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Be kind for childeren. Because i hate someone old man/woman speak unmannered to child

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi No Jin:) 

That's true. Parents should know how to properly discipline their childre. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Be kind for childeren. Because i hate someone old man/woman speak unmannered to child
>> I will tell them to be kind to children. I hate it when an old man or woman speaks with a poor mannered child. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115132 What could you do as a child that you can\'t do now? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 567
115131 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 117
115130 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 0
115129 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 133
115128 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 304
115127 What are your new year goals? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 300
115126 Can you remember the name of the first movie you saw that made... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 0
115125 What is Art? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 1
115124 What could you do as a child that you can\'t do now? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-30 142
115123 What future risk do you want to try in your career? Answer in a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 127
115122 If you could relive one moment in your life, what would it be? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 123
115121 Hello~ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 3
115120 What is your comfort food and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 103
115119 I will miss my friends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 266
115118 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 180
115117 What I\'m grateful for this Christmas.. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 337
115116 If i keep studying so far. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 129
115115 A memory that I want to forget. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 422
115114 free topic ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 134
115113 Can you think of two things you were happy about from this year,... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-29 117

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04