¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are as one again?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-22 92

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

I also hope that North Korea and South Korea would unite as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> If North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

In North Korea, there are many natural resources and South Korea has improved technologies.
>> In North Korea, there are many natural resources and in South Korea, technologies have improved. 

Also we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.
>> Also, we can go to Europe starting from South Korea.

So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.
>> So many countries will trade at the end of South Korea.

So I think if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be a more powerful country than before.
>> So, I think that if North Korea and South Korea are as one again, Korea can be more powerful than before. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114915 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 637
114914 Songgwangsa ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 2
114913 If i become very rich man, then I will have my restaurant ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 514
114912 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 2
114911 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 451
114910 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 299
114909 Places to avoid on a trip ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 100
114908 How would you describe a very relaxing vacation? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 215
114907 Climate Change ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 93
114906 What memory in your life would you want to forget and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 0
114905 What are your leadership skills? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 134
114904 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 816
114903 What are your good and bad habits? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 114
114902 Are you a morning person? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 84
114901 Homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 0
114900 What memory in your life would you want to forget and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 808
114899 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 117
114898 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 1
114897 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 370
114896 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04