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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My friend

작성자: 이*민
2021-12-20 115

회원님의 영작문

Hi Don,

My friend's major is oriental painting in Seoul national university. He studied very well in high school. But he didn't want to earn the money using his major. when he was high school, his parents were poor, so they could not support him. So he worked at painting academy after school and he learned painting from head of academy. After graduate university, he applied public man as position 9th level and he passed it. But 9th level public man is low level. Current his level is 7th level after 20years. I tried to persuade him to use his talent but he rejected my opinion. After 10 years, he regreted to reject my suggestion. his economic situation is not good. His son is 3 grade in high school. So he need a lot of money this year. Next year he need to pay school expense a lots. If he should have use his telent, I am sure he would have got a lot of money.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Andrew!

See you in a bit in our class ^^

T. DON


My friend's major is oriental painting in Seoul national university.
>> CORRECT

He studied very well in high school. But he didn't want to earn the money using his major. when he was high school, his parents were poor, so they could not support him. So he worked at painting academy after school and he learned painting from head of academy.
>> He studied very well in high school but he didn't want to earn money using his major. When he was in high school, his parents were poor, so they could not support him. So he worked at a painting academy after school and he learned painting from the head of the academy.

After graduate university, he applied public man as position 9th level and he passed it. But 9th level public man is low level. Current his level is 7th level after 20years.
>> After he graduated university, he applied as a public man in a 9th position level and he passed it. But 9th level public man is a low level. His current level now is 7th level and that is after 20years.

I tried to persuade him to use his talent but he rejected my opinion. After 10 years, he regreted to reject my suggestion.
>> I tried to persuade him to use his talent but he rejected my opinion. After 10 years, he regretted in rejecting my suggestion.

his economic situation is not good. His son is 3 grade in high school. So he need a lot of money this year. Next year he need to pay school expense a lots.
>> His economic situation is not good. His son is a 3rd grade in high school so he needs a lot of money this year. Next year he needs to pay a lot of school expenses.

If he should have use his telent, I am sure he would have got a lot of money.
>> If he uses his talent wisely, I am sure he would have got a lot of money.
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