¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

dream vacation to me

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-20 100

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My dream destination is the universe.
I want to see the Earth in space before I die.
It's time to travel space through a project called Space x.
Science and technology have made a lot of progress in such a short time.
Until now, only a few number of people can buy expensive space travel tickets, but soon there will be packages that can leave the Earth.
It has been expressed and recorded a lot in movies and videos, but I want to see it with my own eyes.
When I was young, my dream was to become an astronaut and a scientist.
I didn't achieve that dream, but I'm always sad.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

That is a great dream. I think once in our lives we have dreamed of being an astronaut. We would have always wanted to know what it's like up there. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

My dream destination is the universe.
>> CORRECT

I want to see the Earth in space before I die.
>> I want to see the Earth from space before I die.

It's time to travel space through a project called Space x.
>> It's time to travel space through a project called "Space X".

Science and technology have made a lot of progress in such a short time.
>>Science and technology have made a lot of progress in such short time.

Until now, only a few number of people can buy expensive space travel tickets, but soon there will be packages that can leave the Earth.
>> Until now, only a few people can buy expensive space travel tickets, but soon there will be packages that can let us leave Earth.

It has been expressed and recorded a lot in movies and videos, but I want to see it with my own eyes.
>> It has been expressed and recorded in a lot in movies and videos, but I want to see it with my own eyes.

When I was young, my dream was to become an astronaut and a scientist.
>> CORRECT

I didn't achieve that dream, but I'm always sad.
>> I didn't achieve that dream, so I'm always sad.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114679 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 111
114678 HOMEWORK °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 1
114677 What¡¯s wrong with believing everything you¡¯re hearing? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 91
114676 Do you think birthdays are important? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 96
114675 The most liked ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 0
114674 Are you good at coping with stress? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 3
114673 My goals\' review related to my work.\\ ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 1
114672 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 0
114671 Some people think that schools should select students according... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 120
114670 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 147
114669 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 138
114668 How is English different from your mother language (Korean)? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 97
114667 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 0
114666 Why I like my school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 113
114665 Do you enjoy eating out? Why or why not? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 2
114664 Which Down Under would you prefer to visit? What would you like... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 104
114663 What are indirect questions? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 95
114662 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 1
114661 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 1
114660 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-13 81

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04