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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework.

작성자: 황*하
2021-12-20 93

회원님의 영작문

Computer games was considered as things that children should not do because of its negative effects like addiction, violence and so on. Most people have experienced computer games and understand what kind of risk it has. Adults discipline their children based on their experience which was not favorable to play game. However, the point of view in games has changed due to technical development, furthermore, the perception about games has dramatically changed because there are a lot of new businesses that has started. It leads students to learn computer engineering, programs and software. Many parents have encouraged students to learn these skill using various ways such as educational materials, computer games and smart phone applications. In addition, more adults are playing computer games with their children because it helps them a chance to have a good relationship. I think playing games have many positive effects if we use it properly. People have to be cause of dangerous side if chil

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there Mr. Hwang! ^^ It's good to know that you're  negative with COVID-19! Life must go on! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Computer games were considered as things that children should not do because of its negative effects like addiction, violence and so on. 
>>> CORRECT 
Most people have experienced computer games and understand what kind of risk it has. 
>>> CORRECT 
Adults discipline their children based on their experience which was not favorable to play game. 
>>> CORRECT 
However, the point of view in games has changed due to technical development, furthermore, the perception about games has dramatically changed because there are a lot of new businesses that have started. 
>>> CORRECT 
It leads students to learn computer engineering, programs and software.
>>> CORRECT 
 Many parents have encouraged students to learn these skill using various ways such as educational materials, computer games and smart phone applications.
>>> CORRECT 
 In addition, more adults are playing computer games with their children because it helps them a chance to have a good relationship. 
>>>  In addition, more adults are playing computer games with their children because it helps them have a chance to have a good relationship. 
I think playing games have many positive effects if we use it properly. 
>>> I think playing games have many positive effects if we do it properly. 
People have to be cause of dangerous side if chil...
>>> People have to do it because of the dangerous side for children. 
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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