¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay competitive in a world with rapidly evolving

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-12-14 194

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that continues education improve our skill and it provides a chance to update our knowledge. It is true that many companies have asked people to do research and get training to be competitive. Although, I am pros of self-development, there are too many adverse effect. Firstly, people have just tried to acquire certification through online or offline classes. They don't usually put their attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. Secondly, people can be suffering from the stress to be the best in too competitive environment. Everything has changed quickly in modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted on serious health problem. Some people feel like commit a suicide due to competition. Lastly, people might study unnecessary subjects which are not related with their major or job. In conclusion, It;s worth to improve people's skill if company don't pus

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there! It's quite a tiring day today! I hope you're having a good one. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that continues education improve our skills and it provides a chance to update our knowledge.
>>> I strongly believe that continues education improve our skills and it provides a chance to upgrade our knowledge.
 It is true that many companies have asked people to do research and get training to be competitive. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, I am pros of self-development, there are too many adverse effect. 
>>> Although, I am positive of self-development, there are too many adverse effects. 
Firstly, people have just tried to acquire certification through online or offline classes. 
>>> CORRECT
They don't usually put their attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. 
>>> They don't usually pay attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. 
Secondly, people can be suffering from the stress to be the best in too competitive environment.
>>> Secondly, people can be suffering from stress to be the best in a too competitive environment.
 Everything has changed quickly in modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted on serious health problem. 
>>>  Everything has changed quickly in the modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted in a serious health problem. 
Some people feel like commit a suicide due to competition. 
>>> Some people feel like committing a suicide due to the competition. 
Lastly, people might study unnecessary subjects which are not related with their major or job. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, it's worth to improve people's skill if the company doesn't...
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114641 What are some good and bad eating habits? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-12 1
114640 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 572
114639 Do you think birthdays are important? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 0
114638 What would you like to change in the education system in South... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 0
114637 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 126
114636 Homework ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 2
114635 What are three skills or traits you wish you had (that are... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 116
114634 What are two habits you have that makes you productive at work? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 113
114633 What makes you uncomfortable in the work setting? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 772
114632 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 1
114631 I Wold Rather Choose Me ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 796
114630 What are the most important things your parents taught you? ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-11 231
114629 IT was fun day!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 535
114628 The temple+(discussion of vaccine) ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 120
114627 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 530
114626 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 126
114625 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 120
114624 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 1
114623 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 220
114622 Reply to your answer ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-10 227

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04